Married and Alone
Sometimes you cannot stand your husband.
Sometimes you could not care. Into every marriage, a little indifference does fall. Sometimes, there are no quick fixes.
Many women find themselves married to men they would not marry again, given the choice. Yet such marriages have worked. There is a strategy and an order to all things. After the realization that the man is not what you thought he would be, you will feel tremendous frustration.
If you are the stronger, bolder type of girl, you may think of drastic action—of remolding the man…
If you are the milder type, you will worry and try to adjust.
If you are the doormat type, you will leave everything to fate and ruin your life.
The only real strategy is adjustment, giving and taking. It is not about the marriages in which there is abuse and torture—mental or physical. It is about a state of the union where he just does not ring your bells, or you do not ring his.
If you decide to work on marriage, take time, but also understand that time will run out. You need to make a beginning. Think objectively and without bias and take a step forward to make the marriage better for you. During this process try to derive inspiration from happenings around you, from stories you have heard, the quotes you have read.
Assimilate your small strengths. Analyze your attitude. Your knowledge of self will be the first step in the direction of happiness through alternatives.
Since you are the center of your home, it is you, which gives direction to the family. Your deft handling of a given situation can reduce tensions, and make the atmosphere congenial to happiness and joy.
Compromise and adjustment are an inherent part of every marriage. Very few couples are ideally suited to each other. It is important therefore, to fortify yourself and protect your interests. Say to yourself,” The fact that my spouse is not ideal is not the end of me or my life. I am “me” and I live for myself, but this does not signify selfishness. It is the beginning of self-awareness and selflessness. My identity is broad, encompassing, and not limited to being a wife only. I am free to breathe, think, live and cherish my independence. I will have to be strong, clear and understanding.”
Begin today to reinvent yourself—and rewire the marriage.
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